December 25, 2008

What about 2009

Dear Bloggers,

This will be the last one for the year 2008, in the start of 2009 I will see you again.
I hope that I made your live a little bit more fun through reading my blogs.
Well here is the story.................

I crawled into bed late last night, I did not set my alarm at all, inhaled deeply, curled up with my pillow, and then...was “noiseless” (no engines running and that kind of stuff.) and quiet and snuggled up and wide awake.
I made all this room for a full night's sleep and instead, all I could do was think.
And think and think and think.



Stuck as I am to a daily rhythm I sneaked out of bed quietly, not to wake up anyone else.
I hate myself for this, as I am too impatient to stay in bed and waste my time.

Once thinking over my to do list and panic about how long it takes me to get a few little jobs done, one question lingered in my thoughts, in the dark, as the clock ticked on to the hours past midnight: What about next year?



It didn't feel like a frantic question in my mind.
Instead, it was soothing.
I felt like, once the other thoughts stopped running through my brain, I needed a solution to keep all those strange details quiet.
Maybe for good.
At least for the year.

So, what about next year?

My first thought was to come up with a list of resolutions.
The trouble with resolutions, though, is that they are just filled with pressure and so easy to break.
Then the little leftover guilt pokes at you for the next ten months until you blow it all up again.
Resolutions are not the answer (at least for me, at least this time).

Without resolutions, the question of next year was left hanging.
And then the thought came to me that maybe I just need to create a good intention for my year.
Maybe what would work better for me is to decide how I'd like to live this year and let all the tasks and goals fall under that as I have time and energy and inspiration.

My thoughts quieted for a moment and then the words "self-care" came to me. It's not a revolutionary phrase, not a big, new idea that will blow you or me or anyone else out of the water.
But it was enough.



I've had the kind of manic year that has made it pretty difficult to be good to myself and as it ends, everything in my life was stormy.
I am feeling the impact of putting myself second or fifth place or even dead last.
So I am setting my sights on self-care in 2009.

I'd like that intention to include more nights when I go to bed early, fewer racing thoughts, a return to yoga and meditation and fun kinds of fitness, maybe some time just to do artistic things like drawing and painting . The list could go on and on, and I am sure that every month I will think of new ways to tend to myself.



Will this work better than setting a goal weight or bedtime or number of cardio sessions to punch on my class card? I don't know. But last night, the stress left me and I really settled in when I thought about creating an intention rather than coming up with a resolution. So I choose to go with being inspired by the calm rather than motivated by more pressure this time around the calendar.

But why do these good intentions fail?
In a few days we stand at the beginning of a new year.
New rounds and new chances and of course not to forget new “good” intensions for the new year.

Approximately half of all the Dutch people starts the new year with good intentions.
Most of the time those are intentions that they’ve had before and most of the time those intentions will never become reality.



More than three-quarter of the above mentioned people have the “syndrome of false hope”. If an intention goes into fog, people simply find the intention too difficult or they say that they haven’t done their best. Eventually less than a quarter of those people realize their intentions.

But why in fact do good intentions fail?



1. Lack of knowledge:
People jump in the deep and have no idea what setbacks they will meet with or seductions they encounter and they have no idea how to handle this. The consequence is they rapidly will revert to the old pattern.

2. Too difficult to gain your aim.
To gain your aim means in fact: grow. Think about making smaller steps to attain your personal goal. By making a couple of small steps it will be easier to attain your final goal.

3. The all or nothing idea:
This is the common pitfall. Don’t expect you gain your aim faultless. From time to time there will be a lack of motivation or plenty of seductions. Therefore it is difficult to stay on the correct path. Don’t become demotivated as a result, and always try to continue the right track and always remember your aim. However if you are too far from your aim, you would be well-advised to adjust your aim.

4. I will do it tomorrow, however:
Action!! Some people are able to undertake action immediately and others always postpone everything. In the last case you certainly not come closer to your aim. Organisation and planning are super important!! Write weekly returning moments in you diary. You will aim to goal with less stress.



What about you?
Or would a good intention be good enough for you this New Year?


Well I stick to this phrase like always: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

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