The Christmas Carol Phone call

Dear Bloggers,


Unfortunately I am getting unemployed again and I really start to think that it is a fetish to bosses to lay off staff just before or during Christmas. As this is not the first time that it happens and yes I can handle it, but some of my fellow drivers can’t. One of them ran straight up to the office and told them that he would leave straight away, another driver said that he will leave just before Christmas. Hmmm.......these are hard times to keep a job, as soon as the temps office called alarmbells started ringing and the applying machine was started up again. As Scrooge was on the television I twisted this into a hard feelings Christmas Story. Sit down by the fireplace and read and weep.

In a phone call from the temps office that I work for on Tuesday, the Christmas Spirit of the Past from the company had announced the plans to lay me off by the first of Januari. F**cking great but I am the choosen one together with the Ghost of Christmas Present along with his entire Department of Concurrent Events. This restructuring will result in the reduction of the busdrivers the ones that made some mistakes are chucked out.

Despite being able to provide instantaneous hi-def visualizations of events happening simultaneously anywhere around the world, the Ghost of Christmas Present’s capabilities have been largely superseded by the rise of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, making his offerings redundant and too expensive to maintain.

Spirit reminded he will still retain the services of the Ghosts of Christmas Future and Past, along with their entire staffs. He announced that that the remaining departments will continue to provide a valuable function in the Christmas Spirit’s operations by continuing to leverage the blissful memories of Christmases of long ago as well as demonstrate the pain and despair that will occur if the target doesn’t reform his ways.

Average Boss
“Nostalgia and dread have always been what ends up redeeming the scrooges anyway,” The temps office Spirit said on the call.

These organizational changes were necessary to reduce costs and recover from three straight holiday seasons of stagnant growth in Spirit’s mission to restore hope to humanity and bring together estranged family members.

The Ghost of Christmas Present never saw the layoffs coming.

The Christmas Spirit expects to reduce operating expenses by a unknown percentage and is confident he will still be able to meet his business objectives of turning grouches, grinches and scrooges into tolerable timetable for the traveling by bus human beings.

A look into the future

 
The life-like imagery and special effects produced by the three Ghosts have always looked impressive but was expensive, forcing Spirit to do a full cost benefits analysis for each department. Unfortunately for the Ghost of Christmas Present, Spirit’s review made the outcome all too clear.

The Christmas Spirit’s analysis confirmed his suspicions that the Ghost of Christmas Present was too expensive to keep on the payroll and was not nearly as effective as Past and Future in making holiday grouches reconsider their anti-social ways.

“With mixed emotions, we regret to announce that the Ghost of Christmas Present has to be seeking for opportunities outside the company,” said Spirit. “He built a strong foundation in allowing us to see how our target accounts were ruining the lives of their family or demoralizing their employees.”

Spirit says that if his account managers need to know what was going on in some house across town,”now, we can just check their Facebook status updates or read their tweets.”

The Spirit of Christmas says it simply does not make sense to carry the expense of a six-figure executive salary when these capabilities can be provided at little to no cost. He then demonstrated on the webcast what social network applications can do by revealing a Facebook post about one of his targeted accounts.





  

” Spirit said. “It really is a beautiful thing.”

Additionally, a Facebook status update can reveal how holiday-impaired grouches can negatively affect the quality of life of their employees during the Christmas season. He showed this screenshot as evidence.

Spirit said that prior to the announcement, the Ghosts had visited him in his bedroom, each over the course of three nights to plead their case.

“The Ghost of Christmas Present really disappointed me and didn’t show me very much,” Spirit said. “All I saw were other people sleeping. Although I now have an interesting story about our director to tell at this year’s holiday party.”


He could have become a good man

 
Spirit revealed that the Ghost of Christmas Past showed him as a young upstart corporate director and how much joy he experienced in restoring hope and faith in Christmas, saying “I was reminded of how much I love what we do, how we make a difference in people’s lives, and how hot that one girl from accounting was.”

“Christmas Future had a great presentation,” Spirit explained to the hotshots and the blokes from the provence of Friesland. “Once he showed me that the decision to drop Christmas Present and make some changes in our tax liabilities and investing in new systems will give us a double digit growth over the next five years,. . .well that sealed it.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present was understandably distraught with the news that his lifelong career had recently come to an end, saying “I only wish I had seen this coming.”

What happened to the Merry days of Christmas
Because his only skill is quickly being replaced by another driver after the first of Januari, the Ghost of Christmas Present is worried about what will come next, especially considering that his former colleague Christmas Future kept giving him knowing glances of pity as he left the building.

When reached for comment, the Ghost of Christmas Present still maintained that his services are invaluable.

“You won’t get that on a ‘what are you doing now’ status update,” Present said.

Have a better Christmas than me.

The Old Sailor,





Comments

  1. Goedemiddag Old Sailor,

    Dat is geen leuk bericht zo net voor de feestdagen,
    ik hoop dat u snel een leuke job zult vinden,
    wil u en uw gezin toch hele fijne feestdagen wensen ondanks alles maak er iets moois van,

    nog een fijne winterse zondag,
    groetjes que.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wat vervelend nou, alde seeman. Ik was hier al voor de kerst en had ook al een stuk geschreven. Maar het lukte me niet om het te posten en toen was ik het helemaal kwijt. Intussen heb ik je bij mij dusprettige kerstdagen gewenst.
    Ik zocht nu intussen een gedichtje voor een lieve wens voor jou voor het nieuwe jaar. Ik kende ook nog een mooie oude poem die me wel toepasselijk leek, dat stond op een nieuwjaarskaartje, wat mijn vader ooit eens kreeg toegestuurd van een oude vriend(soldaat)in de jaren veertig of vijftig ofzo, die poem, deed me wel wat en daarom had ik da altijd bewaard. Maar ik kan het nu dus even niet terugvinden. Zit nog tussen de blaadjes van mijn oude schoolagenda en die ligt denkelijk ergens in een dood op zolder, of ik moet de laadjes hier allemaal even op de kop. Dus dacht ik, dat ik het op google misschien terug kon vinden. Nee dus, maar ik vond wel een ander, minder toepasselijk misschien, maar wel heel mooi gedicht van Edgar A. Guest op de vertaalsite van een hele goeie vertaler.(http://arthurtoran.punt.nl/?id=516015&r=1&tbl_archief=& ) Maar die (prachtige) vertaling heb jij niet nodig. Hier dus even het gedicht, en mijn echte wens komt nog, later. Wink...
    Ik kan je alvast vertellen, dat ik zeker ook wens, dat je weer snel een mooie goeie baan krijgt.
    En dit is het gedicht, vind je het ook zo mooi?


    A New Year’s Plea - Edgar Guest
    Lord, let me stand in the thick of the fight,
    Let me bear what I must without whining;
    Grant me the wisdom to do what is right,
    Though a thousand false beacons are shining.

    Let me be true as the steel of a blade,
    Make me bigger than skillful or clever;
    Teach me to cling to my best, unafraid,
    And harken to false gospels, never

    Let me be brave when the burden is great,
    Faithful when wounded by sorrow;
    Teach me, when troubled, with patience to wait
    The better and brighter to-morrow.

    Spare me from hatred and envy and shame,
    Open my eyes to life's beauty;
    Let not the glitter of fortune or fame
    Blind me to what is my duty.

    Let me be true to myself to the end,
    Let me stand to my task without whining;
    Let me be right as a man, as a friend,
    Though a thousand false beacons are shining.

    Babbelegoegje (zet mijn link er niet meer bij, want daar ging het vorige keer mee mis, geloof ik.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ach alde seeman, wat triest.
    Ik had net voor de tweede keer een hele lange reactie geschreven,en toen was die te lang en ja hoor, weer helemaal weg. Had ik voor de kerst ook al, o had ik het maar gecopieerd, al doende leert men, mar ik vergeet nog wel eens, om het toch voor de zekerheid even te kopieren voor het versturen.
    Babbelegoegje

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ik doe het nu dus maar even in delen, omdat ik het anders weer kwijt, ben omdat het te lang is.
    Kom al als anonymous, omdat daar voor de kerst het probleem lag, had ik toen begrepen.
    Inmiddels heb ik u al bij mij een prettige kerst gewenst, dat hele stuk wat ik nu voor u geschreven had, ben ik dus kwijt en dat lukt nu niet meer. Mijn nieuwjaarswens komt nog wel, maar ik wens alvast van harte, dat je snel weer een fjne baan hebt.
    Liefs, Babbelegoegje.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ach en nu staat die, zgnd te lange, reactie er dus opeens wel op, zie ik, en daarmee vervallen dus nu mijn drie laatste berichtjes...en ga ik snel naar bed..
    Lekker koese...Babbelegoegje.

    ReplyDelete

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