Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts

October 14, 2014

Growing older feels like time is catching up with me

Dear Bloggers,

I was sitting down tonight and my thoughts were about life again and how lucky I should consider myself, I have a great family and the girls are growing up faster as I thought. Even though I am enjoying every moment of all the situations that occur and the things they do discuss with us and the things that keep them busy. But also the music they are listening to (some of the songs I never heard before).


Although it is a widely accepted that, "The older you get, the faster time seems to go." But why should aging have this effect? After all, there is the parallel that says, "Time flies when you are having fun." But as we age, time flies whether we are having fun or not.


Question is of course, what's going on?
I have recently been trying to understand this question, because for the past several years many of my days have been extremely long, yet the years still seem to be accelerating.



To tackle the problem, I did an Internet search to see what others were saying on the subject. Nearly all the returns had to do with parenting. "Oh, they grow up so fast. The days are long, but the years are short." This is perhaps a partial explanation; however, since the questioning started, I figured out that it occurs just as well to people who have no children, it cannot be the whole answer.


Some other comments had to do with getting religion. "I found God at the age of 30 and every day since I have been waiting to go to His kingdom. I am now in my 80s. Oh, the days have been so long, but the years have been so short." Again perhaps a partial explanation; Hmmm....the same things I hear with non believers as believers, it cannot be the whole answer either.



Many comments were also philosophical. They said simply to accept the facts and live each day to the full. Good advice I think, but again no advance in understanding.

 


I then turned to science. I typed in the search words "psychology of time". This turned up hundreds of articles, most of which were very technical, dealing with brain structure and functions, neurotransmitters and the like. To narrow the search, I typed in both "psychology of time" and "days are long". And got nothing at all!


Finally, I decided to sit down somewhere quietly and analyse the matter myself. This turned about to be a wise decision, because I think I found the solution. It's really quite simple. It all has to do with "anticipation" and "retrospection".


Whatever the nature of our individual lives, we all anticipate things that are important to us. Then after they happen, we look back at them. For example, most school children look forward to the long summer vacation, which always seems to be an eternity away. Finally, it arrives. Then, almost before they blink an eye, it's over and they are back in school again.



Progressing from primary school to secondary school is another excruciating anticipation for a youngster, especially if the move is perceived as being an important step away from childhood into adulthood.


And so it goes on and on. When anticipated, each new significant event seems to be extremely far away. However, after the event, we regularly look back and yell out: "Did it really happen that long ago?"



Our first love, our first heartbreak, driving a car, getting a job, marriage, etc. When we look forward, all these milestones seem impossibly far in the future. However once achieved, how quickly they fade away into the past.


The older we get, the more milestones we have to look back on. So the farther and faster they appear to fade away. So if sometimes the clock may seem to have stopped, the calendar always continues racing ahead.


For me, the high point of my life was joining the army and serving as a soldier for my country was teaching me that life was not always fun. And they thought me to be disciplined. I applied for a peace keeping force post early in my career and was trained for special peace tasks. Processing the application took only about three months -- perhaps the longest three months of my life. It seemed more like three years. I was accepted but not sent abroad as the Dutch government decided differently. 


After a while I realized that I should consider myself lucky as I met guys who came back from these scattered countries – I still help some of them with getting their life on track and help them with a listening ear and lend them a hand when they have to make a new start again. the easiest way of living my life, because I am having so much fun.


I of course have had many other milestones in my life, which are all rapidly hurtling away from me. Even the most recent ones already seem to be covered in dust. I am now 46. I don't feel old, but somehow I just can't get my mind around the fact that many of these things already look like ancient history.


If accumulating milestones is truly the secret of the accelerating years, what do we do about it? Basically nothing; we just have to accept it. However, this is not necessarily a negative. True, the good things are coursing away faster and faster into the past. But so are also the not-so-good things.
Whether positive or negative, nothing in life lasts forever, even if it sometimes feels as if it will. We are certain of this because we know even life itself doesn't last forever. We are all born to die. What happens after that is the subject of considerable controversy. But whatever it is, we are certain it is going to happen, and that it will almost certainly be different from whatever we know today.


Since I am now in my fourth decade (I am 46), for me this inevitability will probably occur sometime within the next 30-40 years, and almost certainly within the next 50 years. This seems like a very long time. However, the years are accelerating, so when it does occur my most probable reaction will be: "What! Already!" On the other hand I have done so many fun things in my life. If I would drop dead tomorrow I would call it bad luck for the rest of my family.


Enjoy every day you've got left, you never know what might happen.

The Old Sailor,

September 1, 2012

I have no motivation left & there is no luck in life

Dear Bloggers,

I have been wondering for quite awhile now that somehow there is no luck in life at all. But somehow I cannot explain as I met people that have been lucky as they earned enough money too retire. Yes I am a decent and honest above average looking guy with no luck with love and yes I am picky but I dont want to live a lie, I am unlucky in investment and lost a lot of money for a adult with his own property and yes it hurts i tried to set up my future with my wife and kids but I have the feeling that I cannot ever succeed no matter how hard I try.



And yes I have some small health complications partly from all the stress as well and those around expect to much of me, so I distance myself as well and to top it all of I can’t get a decent tolerable job that is giving enough hours and money to pay all the bills. I just get what is left to be filled in at the bus company so there is no line at all in working hours, no rythm at all and that I hate, and on top of it all my friends and collegues who cheat on there girlfriends and do social drugs and when they were single they blew all there money and travelled the world and some are now getting married and have careers and houses. I was like that until 15 years ago. Yes I tried to do the right thing but these things never worked out the last 10 to 15 years somehow our luck ran out



How can I get motivated as I see all this injustices around me and feel I would be succesful if I was a low life yet that is not me cause at the moment I want to give up trying in the sense if I did not have financial commitments I would be on welfare as I am so frustrated all my life has and it is a struggle as I have no bloody luck in anything ?



One of my regular passengers said to me: “I think your seeing it wrong my friend.” Hmmm but why is their no luck for us at all ? I asked and then he answerred: “Don't wait for "luck". Organise your life to get somewhere:

” If your investments fail then you are not making the right choices or it is not your thing. Do something else.”




If you are not "lucky" with girls, then you need to go to the right places were you can meet the the right type of girls but I really would not know were this would be nowadays as all the pubs and discos from my time are either being closed or there are only teenagers to be found. So I would have no idea where the fun is for people from my age. I am still married to my wife and there is no prognoses that this would change but it got me thinking as in my street there are enough divorced man and women living aroudnd me. That is probably why these dating sites are getting more and more popular they discovered how to make a fortune out of the other ones bad luck . When you would go out to try your “luck.” Is it because you forgot how to seduce someone or did you fall on your face too many times and furthermore you need to behave like a gentleman to be a good catch.



Something is pretty clear to me know I am pretty sure that luck is another word for trying hard. “If you are not motivated there will be no luck, so give it your best shot.” You need to be firm about what people should expect from you. But be careful as you can want too much, so my advise is “Do not take on too much.” If you are busy you just tell them you unfortunately do not have time, etc. They will soon get used to it. If you would not take it to a hold you might fully burn out as at the moment they are over-burdoning you it seems. It is your life and your future




Blaming "luck" and life by being unfair sounds very much like a looser. Don't be one. Show that you can take charge of your life. I would say do not only depend on luck it is just something that passes by in your life.

The Old Sailor,

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